“Ooh, mama toch!” (“ooh, mommy!”) says my 2 year old daughter lately whenever she notices that I’m tired or upset or something’s wrong. Sometimes I also get a kiss or a hug to go along with that. Simply wonderful! I cannot put into words how much I enjoy my little toddler who is able to do more and more with each passing day.
But two years ago things were quite different for me. I couldn’t really say that I was enjoying much of anything of that new mommy experience. And I needed someone who would listen to me and understand me so much! Someone who could give answers to the questions I didn’t really dare to ask. But actually, what I needed most of all, was someone who would réally listen and acknowledge what I was feeling.
It is almost indescribable what a baby does with a person and the extent to which it can turn your world and life upside down. In some cases from those early days of the pregnancy, in other cases from those moments after a delivery that didn’t quite go as expected and surely during those first days, weeks, months and (2?) years.
Do you also feel the need to talk to someone like that? Shall I be that person, the listening ear, for you, mom or dad (to be)? (We also get a lot of “ooh, daddy!” around here lately).
Listen
When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice,
you have not done what I asked.When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me
why I shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.When I ask you listen to me
and you feel you have to do something
to solve my problems,
you have failed me,
strange as that may seem.So please, just listen
and hear me.And if you want to talk,
‘Loving Each Other’ (Leo F. Buscaglia)
Wait a few minutes for your turn
and I promise I’ll listen to you.